You pull out a loose hair from your scalp / It has a large white bit on the end / You pull the white bit off with your fingers Manager: You need to socialize with your coworkers more. / Me: *Hang on, let me just find the part where it mentions I need to be friends with my colleagues in my contract...* Doctor: You need to eat 3 meals a day. / Me: Write me a prescription for some food stamps then. You don’t lose your real friends when you leave a job, they just go from “work besties” to “besties”… When your headphones cable saves your phone from hitting the ground, but now the headphones are broken / A soul for a soul When you just finished a whole pizza and you're not sure if you're disgusted with yourself, or want to finish strong with an ice cream When somebody asks me to list my personality traits / Unpleasant / Dysfunctional / Intriguing / Unsure The original face changing app
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