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Me trying to get a handle on my life
A ton of unfinished tasks i need to do / Me just scrolling through memes
Low storage space / Me deleting apps i never opened in my life
Mark an x where it hurts.
Me: i'm not that judgy / Also me while listening
I do laundry to get cat hair off my clothes / My cat
how i view everything around me when my routine is thrown off even a little bit / the enemies
Drug kingpins: how can the police always find my safehouse? / their safehouse
Asking my man for water because i'm unable to move once my blanket is on me
"Are you feeling refreshed, energized, and ready to take on the week?" / Me
Allergy testing went great turns out i'm allergic to "all of the above"
Can you multitask? / Yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time
When your friends make fun of your biggest insecurity / but you have to act like it doesn't bother you
When you finally read the book everyone is currently raving about / and it's really really bad.
When mom is shouting at someone named "ohmygodits4amstopmeowing" but your name is marshmallow
We can all quit. this guy found the stick of all sticks.
This is like dinosaurs having their picture taken with an asteroid.
There are two types of people on the internet / "i just be posting memes and bullshit" / "i'm going to take everything so fucking serious"
What i think phones looked like 10 years ago / the phones that existed 10 years ago
This escape room sucks. / once again sir, this is planet earth.
Dad: i need your help real quick / me, 10 hours of unpaid labor later
Me every time i see my reflection in a car window / (there is a terrified family inside)
Me after creating something hideous in the character creator / rise, my glorious creation. rise!
What does this mirror do, professor? / it shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts
