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Me putting earphones in / oh right / playing music
My brain when I try to sleep: NO / My brain when I try to wake up: NO
trying to cook when you have dogs be like
lasagne / I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT
The delivery man calculating the exact moment i start taking a shit to arrive
When you can only take 1 toy to the bath and you've narrowed it down to your top 3
How do I tell him to stop including me in plans because by then I'll be dead
music: gets really epic / my skin
Monday vs me on the weekend
the "why are my farts nuclear, and piss radioactive?" starter pack
"ur smile says a lot about you" / me: I need money
"don't you guys get bored together?" / me and my man all weekend
When someone takes a verse out of context and keeps on going / WHOA
When u submit your essay on time but it's short by 2 pages, missing sources and completely about the wrong subject
What you see / What your dentist sees
When you come across a really offensive meme but you see your best friend already liked it
Me talking to myself when no one is around
I've seen my future
THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX / People born with a brain
Device not paired? WTF. / Who connected to my earbuds? / Ok, disconnect. BLUETOOTH ON AND OFF / They connected to goddamned laptop Low battery / Charging case has 3% of battery left Where is the cable for charging case Where did I put the left earbud?
are you ok? / haha yea im just gonna take a nap
Stairs on a normal day vs stairs after a leg day
We can't pay you but the exposure will be great!' / Me: You have died of exposure.
I find something Cheap to buy online / The shipping is 5 to 10 dollars / I buy it anyway bc the other options aren't any cheaper