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If a dolphin was blowing up a balloon, would it be like this or this.
Officially unlocked all the achievements on my dash. What do I do now? / Achievement Unlocked: How did you make it this far?
You shouldn't sleep with the door closed it's bad for air flow
I know you're going through a lot right now just know you did this to yourself.
Jesse Pinkman: *exists* / Every Breaking Bad character
How the “bonjour polar bear” looks like / How I see him
When you're losing in a sibling fight and suddenly remember you're the younger one / Mama...
Rich Kids Spa Vs Me
Ime at 3 am trying to figure out why exist asiah / caption this
Me: I love my best friend / my best friend: hey
WHEN YOU GO OFFLINE FOR HALF A DAY AND THE ENTIRE INTERNET IS TALKING ABOUT SOME NIHILIST PENGUIN
My mom: I want you home in 10 minutes / Me in another city
When the characters in my audiobook are railing each other but my face keeps a secret
Wait, i am alone / Never have been
When you need to confront the person responsible for some bullshit in your life
Eating real cherries / Drinking cherry juice / Taking cherry flavored medicine
How your dog feels when you let him run off the leash
Customer: This sandwich sucks / Subway Employee: Hold on. This whole operation was your idea.