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*in my head* / Fictional characters / Me
finally starting the task you told your boss you started a week ago and the document says "request access"
Me casually waiting for February 15th when all Valentine's candy hits clearance.
That pre-broke stage like you ain't broke yet, but you can see it coming
Me explaining how it's freezing cold and raining and 2 AM and I want to go back inside / My dog who has been sniffing the same spot for 20 minutes
I need to get my life together but I'm kind of waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.
When you tell them that you like to code And they start asking whether you can hack someone's instagram account
When you work from home during the holidays
SLOW DOWN!!! You bloody maniac!
me after successfully guessing my own password
Kids beg you to play hide-and-seek and then hide like this
My daughter has this stuffed animal that you can heat up prior to cuddling with. I always feel like a psychopath doing this
Holiday gift guide: good gifts for sad people by @dumbsoberbitch bad coping mechanism dinner serotonin shower in a can diagnosis new sweatpant a will to live instant noodle roomba stucco to stare at heavy blanky a fast car
Me: Does nothing / My grandma: I'm gonna pay you $1200
You are what you eat!
WHEN YOUR TEACHER ALMOST CATCHES YOU CHEATING SO YOU HIT EM WITH THE
Me cleaning my screen as carefully as humanly possible to avoid scratching / The micro scratches: Dread it...Run from it.... Destiny arrives all the same
Rich People Splurging: "Fuck it, I'm buying a yacht" / Me Splurging: "Fuck it, make it a large meal"
