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Who wants to share their music playlist / Who wants to listen to others' playlists
When your backstory is dark but your character is cute / Ragnaroth, devourer of souls
When you go on a diet to lose belly fat / But now you are just skinny with a potbelly and look even worse
When there's only one person left on the other team in dodgeball / I want every gun we have to fire on that man
What I use my gym clothes for / Gym / Pyjamas
There are 2 types of people in this world:
The snake in size / The food they eat
Honey, tell me what's wrong / The only reason we lose only one sock is because if we lost both, we wouldn't notice / Oh fuck
Oh boy I sure hope I don't become a zombie / The Devious Headcrab / Out of context dogs
The creature approaches with malicious intent
Me: Taking my car to carwash / Every pigeon in 10 mile radius:
Student problems starter pack / 7:01 am alarm / 7:10 am alarm / 7:15 am alarm / 7:25 am alarm / 7:30 am alarm / How many days straight can I eat this before dying? / Sorry, that's not correct / Sorry, your answer is not correct / Correct answer: 1/4^5 / Your answer: 1/4^5 / Study / Tell everyone I have to study
The guy who invented the snooze button on alarm clocks was like:
Real footage of me tiptoeing down to the kitchen at 2am:
Rayquaza pretended not to notice! / Senpai, pls notice me 🙁
People who provide timestamps for the main things in a really long video / Average viewers
Me: ughh! I only got 4 hours of sleep / Friend: I only got 2!! / Me: / The pride and superiority you feel from having an unhealthier lifestyle than others is a short term gratification that will lead to long term detriments
Me: sees there's a second page of the test with only 5 minutes left / My last two brain cells:
Me / Gym clothes / Food / My bank balance
Maintaining friendships as an adult / Aurora / Well, hi! Good morning. / I think the last time I talked to you was something like 48 months ago.
It's the day after you decided to finally, actually, for real follow a diet
Me to 90% of people / I don't hate you... / I'm just not necessarily excited about your existence.
I attack when my owner orders me to / I attack when my owner is in danger / I attack my owner.
Hot girl summer is ending, Toad-in-bed winter approaches / "I can go home," said Toad / "Winter may be beautiful, but bed is much better."