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Main character: gets all his bones broken and is fully recovered by the end of the episode / Side character: gets beaten up once / I'm paralyzed from the neck down and can no longer move it move it
If only they had a truck.
I want to see a wilderness survival show but instead of wilderness it's living on minimum wage, and the contestants are all billionaires
Friend: can i use your netflix? / It's not my account. / Friend: whose account is it? / I know a guy who knows a guy
I got one more minute
Good character design can be identified by its silhouette alone
Friend: drags super long conversation i wasn't paying attention to / me: "that's crazy"
Do you sometimes choke on your own saliva and feel like you're about to die for a couple seconds? / Huh? / Sorry, that was a strange thing to ask.
Did anyone else as a kid sleep in the car on the way home and know exactly where you are by feeling the car turn? / You know, i'm something of a gps myself.
Dear santa i have been evil and i dont believe in you 11 months of the year but id like $80,000 in cash given neatly in an envelope all in $100 bills. thank u
Me: buys a treadmill so i can finally do some exercise / My brain: you could also just create an epic car montage / Me: but why would i-
Gas / Liquid / Solid / Plasma / Bose einstein condensate / Cat
When you approach a curb you need to step over, but u realize that you wouldn't make it with the leg you're comfortable with, so you change your step distance
When you accidentally rubbed shampoo into your eyes and you wait for the pain to end
What to Do if the Plants Trip You
STEP ONE: Remain still. This was just a warning. If the plants willed it so, you'd be dead already.
STEP TWO: Think, "What have I done to offend the plants?"
STEP THREE: Make a list; for each item, write what you could do to make things better.
STEP FOUR: Show the list to the plants.
STEP FIVE: If the plants don't come at you with their lethal leaves, flowers, and fronds, this means they have accepted your action plan.
STEP SIX: Follow the list to the letter.
STEP SEVEN: The plants are watching.
What I think games from a decade ago look like
HIGH SCORE / SCORE / TIME / DISTANCE / SPEED / STAGE 1
What they actually look like
Welcome weary traveler.
To my SHOP
How may I assist you?
Buy / Sell / Talk / Exit
995G 6/8
They say all animal become crab. Will human also become crab?
Ancestor crustacean / Ancestor mammal
Omnivore diet / Grippy hands / Legs can walk in all direction but not fast / No tail
Conclusion: Human will not become crab
Human already crab
