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I was put on this earth to do one thing, luckily i forgot what it was so i can do whatever i want
"How are you not hurt?" / me: i saw it coming 4 months ago when i was overthinking
Me: i could really use a sign from above right now / the sign from above
Expectation / reality
100,000,001 Divisible By 17
When i turn off my laptop by holding the power button as opposed to the proper way, i always feel like i'm holding its head underwater until it suffocates slowly. / Gentle persuasion
This is like in a video game where it gives you a ton of items and you know there's gonna be a tough boss in the next room
Thank you for changing my life / I'm literally just an operating system
me / science / math
Real world: all of these existing at the same time / fiction: each one of these is a different planet
Polyamory but it's because you need 3 incomes to survive now.
Npc: does literally nothing / entire party: fuck you random citizen
My winter depression is over which means it's time for the slightly better spring/summer depression
My dog: has food and a roof over his head / also my dog, when i leave the gate open for half a second: i just couldn't stand being at home any longer and am now looking for challenges and new experiences.
Movie theaters: exist / babies
Me watching a show or movie of characters being brutally stabbed or shot / me seeing a character break their leg
The other half of my foot long sub / me five minutes after wrapping it back up
I literally look like a creep / r there any characters here i know
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