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Coming in clutch with the / #1 victory royale
Shirt gets old / Checking my email history so I can reorder the exact same thing
No friends / No real hobbies / No special talents / No gf / Meaningless, unfulfilling job I hate / Don't believe in anything / Observe other people living life, rather than actually experiencing it for myself / Am I an NPC?
Me: Act normal in front of your crush / Also me:
Tightening the soda lid so that the next person who wants soda struggles to open it / You want more soda
When relatives visit your place when parents are not home and you are just standing there like-/U want water?
Wisdom teeth, for absolutely no reason:/Bonjour
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? / Turtles / Lizards / Snakes / Crocodiles / Birds / Chickens appear here / Eggs already existed here
Hey also you know the thing where a dog is determined to lick your face, but you don't want to get your face licked, so you kinda cup the dog's head between your hands, but what you failed to consider is that the dog is determined to lick your face, so they'll stretch their whole skin off their skull to make it happen like
Whenever I'm feeling down:/ Me/ Music/ Playing with my pets
When your friends drunk and wants to talk to their ex..
When you start the 2nd season of a series / A character you got used to is played by a different actor
When you realize talking to them is a never-ending cycle that's going nowhere / But if you stop, you lose your favorite person
When you look like trash and someone compliments you / Thanks
When you and your best friend tag each other in the same meme
When a random car makes third same turn while following me:
Me: What's the first rule of cooking?/4 yo: Don't put your hands in your butt./Me:/4 yo:/Me: Correct.
This is a placebo meme / Studies show placebo memes are still reacted to even when users know they are a placebo
Back on Earth, it's a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub. / But it's a 45 minute walk from the pub back to my house. / The difference is staggering.
Seeing a dozen comments already said the same thing you wanted to say so you upvote them and move on / Commenting a slightly different version of the same thing that's already been said 100 times
Bro, try to understand / Sarcasm / Party is incomplete without you
Now let's see who you really are
My body when cold night:/My feet when cold night:/Put yo socks on
Me when in my dream I saw a guy with 8 fingers on each hand / Maybe I am an AI.