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Me: "just because i'm ridiculous on the internet doesn't mean i'm this way in real life." / People who know me in person: It's worse. it's so much worse!
In every pack of crackers there is always one cracker that has a little more flavor / A cracker that stands out from the other crackers / I'm that cracker
Me: hell yeah! the weekend has officially begun! / Me 1 hour later: I am incredibly lonely!
Full priced ea game / Dlc's sold seperately
The person i'm debating / Did you actually expect me to change my mind? / *me with a well formed argument backed by facts and statistics* / Kinda!
Cars in action movies / Still works after being shot 100 times / Cars in horror movies / Can't even start...
At 9am on the summer solstice each year the 'bogquinox' happens in our toilet when the sun refracts through the bathroom window and hits the bowl in just the right place.
A mother stands tall watching for threats as her newborn calf struggles to stand up
When the teacher tells the class to shut up when you're presenting and you're just standing there like
What my parents expect from me.
What is the main characters background story? / Author: Best I can do is dead parents
Protagonist: needs character development / The author: Your parents are dead
10 year old me: My seat is... in the perfect spot to get sniped at.
Me looking at the roller-coaster thinking it's not high / Me before the first drop
How do people cut their nails starter pack / Normal people / Medical staff / Barber / Hairdresser / Psychopaths
When your windows pc freezes so badly that you're unable to launch the task manager using the mouse / Ctrl+alt+del / You must be truly desperate to come to me for help
Fuck zodiac signs, which one of these your parents punished you with? / All above
When you skip a cutscene and suddenly there's a giant battle / Shit just went from zero to one hundred real fucking quick
When you just gave someone directions and you just stand there and watch them taking a wrong turn
When you are losing an argument online and suddenly four other mysterious accounts start backing you up
When everyone is having fun at a social event except you
The "You've reached the edge of the map in a video game" starter pack / Invisible walls / Tree or other objects blocking path / Vehicle stops working / Teleported back / instantly blows up/ dies
Talks about my problems in front of my cat for 40 minutes / My cat only understanding her name and "no"
Me: is trying to sleep / My body: finds a good position / My brain five seconds later / swing swong / Your position is wrong