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Me sat outside of work making the most of the last few minutes before i have to go in
Me pretending to give a fuck while the costco worker tells me about the free sample
Me picking the "lossless" option in my music app knowing damn well i won't be able to tell a difference with my $50 buds
Me looking for a way out of a problem i created for myself
Me going for a stupid walk in the stupid cold for my stupid mental health.
Did you know? If you hold your breath long enough you can sleep forever
L: he's probably thinking about me thinking he's kira. / Light: he's probably thinking that i'm thinking about him thinking i'm kira.
Got any big plans this weekend? / My plans
Everyday is a new adventure in the er / may have ingested a lizard
Cover the dough and let it rest for 6 hours / I wish i was the dough
When you see a cockroach / when the cockroach flies / when the cockroach lands on you / can anyone relate this
Pov: your mom raised you right and now you don't fit in w people your age
When you're walking to the bus station and see the bus driving away
When your favourite top doesn't fit anymore
When you started going to the gym to become more attractive but now you're just ugly with big muscles
When the conversation is going great and they send you a youtube link to a long ass video like "watch this" / Ok i will. Thanks for the homework
When my toddler is cool with his sandwich even though i cut it into squares instead of triangles
When me and my siblings are fighting and mom walks in
When i get an uber driver that doesn't talk the whole ride / So you have chosen.. (5 stars)
What if when we can't sleep it's because the sleep servers are full and spots only open when other people wake up
"Look what i sent you" (We're right next to each other)
Who would've guessed? / This product contains peanuts
Right now: there's a hole in the floor and we can see the class below us so we tied a cheeto to a piece of yarn and we're trying to communicate with this girl but so far she hasn't noticed
So two of my classmates just asked our professor if his shirt is missing a 2nd part / There are two types of people in this world: 1) Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data
