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Me waiting on the cashier to notice me after I screwed up self checkout again
Me looking at my mom when my family asks me about something I only told her
Me leaving the house in a rush thinking I can get ready in 10 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can't
Me knowing it’s about to become a genuine part of my vocabulary / The cringey phrase I started saying
Me counting money in my dreams / Me waking up with rent to pay
Your order is on its way / Me until it arrives
Me at every campfire i've ever even seen
How it feels the next day after clubbing once you’ve turned 30
Honestly don't know how to earn that 5th star / Dr Lewis saved my life!
Have the day you deserve.
Diverting from my usual content for a moment bc i need to show yall how my 19yo coworker fucking types
forgot to pay my editor for a couple days and he sent me this lol / waiting for my payment but im just a chill guy
Don't overshare just because someone 'is nice to you', you idiot
Me: Buys a toilet seat once from Amazon / Amazon for the next six months: Can I offer you a nice toilet seat in this trying time?
all that food and you decide to eat your desk
When it's been one heck of a week but it's only Tuesday / "A whiskey, please." / "Sir, this is McDonald's." / "Ok, a McWhiskey, please."
Me The fruit sticker My friend's clothes
If you're feeling lazy just know that my mom just asked my brother to vacuum his room, but he youtubed a vacuum sound & laid in bed instead / Modern Problems Require Outstanding Moves
When you're having period cramps but you're trying to act like everything's cool
I love it when dogs try to help but the task at hand requires zero dogs so they just kinda stand in front of you and look serious.
Me after carrying the weight of being fucking stupid all day
Me trying to cover up all my problems and act normal.
profile pic of the best engineer at your company
4 Year old me: Realizing that people die / Also 4 year old me: Realizing that I'm people