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Pigeons realising diesels decrease day by day and they'll have to shit on electric cars.
*Opens granola bar wrapper*
The granola bar:
One drink and we go home
5:45 AM
Just one drink
My tongue when it sees me opening up my 7th bag of sour skittles
Meeting kids from a different class:
Meeting kids from a different school:
The bad guy
Me with a cool stick
Me using my most powerful move on an opponent with 1 HP:
Dopamine
Serotonin
Me trying to find joy in life
Me, trying to act normal in social settings
Me and all the sheep I've counted tonight
Waiting for my sleep paralysis demon to show up
I’ll get married only after I am emotionally stabile, financially independent, & my life is completely together
If the chair in your room was an actual person
Wot da fuk
Writers: I just wish I had more free time so I could write
Writers when they have free time:
I fricked ur favourite toy last night
How have you been lately?
Me:
Be at the rat sofa by 1 am, no later.
Me: *Finishes the exam*
Back side of the paper:
Oh, no, we're not done yet.
Always wanted to pull one of these and leave the house mysteriously