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Me / Coming up with new delusional scenarios to sleep to
Me: can easily lift weights for 2 hours / Also me after 5 minutes of jogging: / F*ck
Bathing or showering in winter be like / Don't wanna start / Don't wanna stop
The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was / You remember that you forgot something / You forgot something / Ok
When your friend who always wears a hat finally takes it off
When you tell your mom you can't go to school cause you have a fever and she says she'll be in to feel your head in a few minutes.
When you hit shuffle and the first song is the one you were avoiding:
When you finally get rid of that one annoying booger and now you're breathing premium air
What's the first rule of shopping online? / Me: / Best Selling / Alphabetically, A-Z / Alphabetically, Z-A / Price, low to high / Price, high to low / Date, new to old / Date, old to new / Done
Me: Trying to press backspace / My pc:
Me trying not to tell random people trivia / About whatever my hell brain has latched onto this month
Teachers after asking a question and then answering it themselves / Dora tha eksplora
Talk to people:/ No
Car salesman: *slaps bucket of white paint* / The rest text is obscured by white paint
Me: records a video / My phone: / Wouldn't that make you / Video-e61b96f73efb1ed6886148012f19ebc-v?
Rare photo of me trying to fit in society:
My left hand receiving the best manicure I can give / My right hand
My friends shouting and losing their minds when drunk:/Me realizing I'm gonna be the one to take them home:
My child in 3-6m clothing / My child in 6-9m clothing
Me trying to figure out where my crush is at / By the background of their Instagram story
Me staring at my friend with middle-class money, both parents, a stable job, and a loving relationship complaining about how hard life is
Last night: I'm definitely 100% waking up at 5 am tomorrow and going to the gym / 9 am today:
I fucking hate the hand that feeds me. / I think I'll do something fucked up to it
