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Going online shopping cuz im bored / Me / Me / Whatever I want
Back in my day, games came with short books that taught you how to play, and started the story for you. / Ok, sure grandma, lets get you to bed
So... Exactly what did this Road Runner do to you?/I don't want to talk about it, Brad!
Climate change will manifest as a series of disasters viewed through phones / With footage that gets closer and closer to where you live until you're the one filming it
My parents: *buys me and my friends dinner* / One friend: "Hey thanks for dinner" / Everyone else: / Thanks! Thanks! Thank you! / Thanks / Thanks / Thanks / Yeah, Thank You! / Thank you!
Wife: As soon as you finish painting that wall, we need to talk about getting rid of some of your cars / Me:
Me (texting boss): Are we still on for today? / Boss: Yes. You don't need to text me this every morning. We are still "on" for work every day Monday - Friday.
You're too old for pokemon / I believe we are called veteran trainers, thank you
Pov: It's the night before the exam and you realise you're learning not revising
Me: yea I'm a scientist..I totally live my life based on scientific facts / Science: sleep more / Science: drink less / Science: eat healthier / Me: *takes a sip of whiskey and a bite of nachos at midnight while I try to think of good tweets*
When you are lowkey mad at your best friend / but they have been there since day 1 / so you can only rage internally
When the toilet seat cold:/When the toilet seat warm:
Wanting to lose weight cause I'm fat af / Decide to join a gym / Everyone is supportive and encouraging instead of making fun of me
You see a rat, but I see a hardworking dad trying to feed his 4 teenaged turtles
The ten minutes I spend on my phone before I sleep are the best three hours of my day / Sarcasm
The fly entering my room / The fly trying to leave
The big dream has finally came true!
That one unexplainable photo in your phone gallery after a night out
Me: rests head against bus window / The bus driver: / Let's go offroad!
Me: *realizes that I have a test tomorrow that I forgot to study for* / Also me:
Me: *puts my drink down & looks away* / Some random fly less than a second later:
Friend: Please don't tell anyone I hooked up with him. / Me: / Hey, you guys!
Me and bro / Our skins in games
The 10$ in my bank account / My desire to travel the world and live freely / Now kith