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Me: if I take that appointment at 3pm I'll have time to do stuff before and after! / My brain entering waiting mode at 8am:
Me trying to find my phones brightness bar under sunlight after using it last night:
How the barber look at your head when he's fucked up your hairline beyond repair.
How it feels to be a girl with your dads personality:
Me: Honestly im just so evil. so full of darkness. i feed off the souls of the living i strike fear into-/ Friend: You sleep with a teddy bear/ Me: Hes my second in command in my army of darkness
He's already seized control of my house, now he figures he can take over the whole planet.
Walking into a store at 16:00 in winter / Walking out of the store at 16:30 in winter
Good morning. / Another day, another 5ft squirrel trying to break into my car.
First minute running vs second minute running / Guy: / I mean at least I tried right
Finally gets a text back from them / It's a dry message
Finally found a good use for cauliflower
Me saying "thank you" to ChatGPT for writing me the "extremely easy short summary of this pdf"
Every hacker scene in a movie ever / Emergency exit / (chuckles) / I'm in
Me: *confess my love* / My crush: / Finally! A worthy friend! / Our friendship will be legendary!
When you mention 'change' and everyone suddenly becomes an expert on why it won't work
My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.
When this fills up, I will start / Locking in and focusing on life
This owl took a hobby horse from someone's yard / And when flies he looks like a witch.
We are becoming dumber / Complexity of our problems is growing faster than our intelligence
Ways to close task manager / Close / Alt + F4 / Task manager / End task
Trying to summon the dopamine / To get started on a task:
Everyone in a bar / The random 12 year old that ordered lemonade