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When you've switched lines at the store/And the one you just left starts moving faster.
When you're a broke college student and only have one thing to eat / Activate instant noodles
When your roommate wakes you up at 8:50 to make sure you don't miss your class at 9, but you don't have a class until 10 / He a little confused, but he got the spirit.
When it's your friend's birthday and everyone has their confetti guns ready to go / I want every gun we have to fire on that man.
What the author meant. / What your English teacher thinks the author meant. / For instance: "The curtains were blue." / What your teacher thinks: "The curtains represent his immense depression and his lack of will to carry on." / What the author meant: "The curtains were fucking blue."
Very rare picture of a fire-breathing golden retriever
Doesn't matter how cold it gets / There will always be that one guy / Well, of course I know him. He's me.
Stranger in public: Looks at me for 0.03 sec / Me:
Starting to work on yourself / Waiting for 1st Jan
Ok ima rebuild the relationships i destroyed with my friends and family / Damn they all seem like they are living perfect lives and are incredibly happy, i think its best to not contact any of them because ill probably be the reason their life goes to shit
Me peacefully enjoying a movie / People who are always 30 minutes late looking for their seats
Me: Stays up a extra hour one night / My sleep schedule for the rest of the month / Now it's time to get funky
Me literally any time I'm holding a TV remote / After all why not? / Why shouldn't I slide off the battery cover?
Me and my second personality enjoying the weather
When the painting won't stop making eye contact with you
It's the Loch Ness monster
I don't like ur playlist
*Farts* / Gross, I can't believe you just farted! / Whoever smelt it dealt it lmao
8:00 AM: Too tired to think / Noon: Too tired to think / 5:00 PM: Too tired to think / Midnight: How do dragons blow out candles??
My laptop's ram / Google chrome tab
Family sized bag of chips: *Exists* / Me twenty minutes later: / Man, maybe I am a family
Bonk
Average adult: *can run at 15 mph* / Horror game characters when a literal demon hellbent on tearing them to pieces is chasing them: / Three, take it or leave it.
A friend sent me a picture of this moth / And it reminded me a lot of bongo cat / So... bongo moth.