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1000s of buffs and consumables t refuse to use incase I need. them later
Me: *opens a pack of gum* / My friends: Bonjour / howdy / konichiwa /Guten Tag
Penguins have knees / (confused unga bunga) R
4 year old me when it stops raining 15 min after I sing rain rain go away / that's right peasants
Fruit cup in light syrup starter pack: Looks like this / Spills fucking everywhere when you open it because it's too full / You forgot a spork at the lunch line so you just drink it / Now your hands are sticky
My future / My Reddit mode / My humour: Dark
How i feel after saying "maybe" to plans i'm 100% not attending
Instead of working 8 hours a day why not work 2,920 hours in one day and chill the rest of the year
*casually pees on an anthill* / What the ant sees
When everyone thinks you're a chill guy But you're really a stressed guy who pees his pants
Me: *pees the last drop and puts pants back on* / My pp: There is another
That feeling when you're the reason the team lost, but you're lowkey just a chill guy who sleeps soundly
Me thinking im in the bathroom alone: *shits as loud as possible* / Teacher in the stall next to me
*leaf with a high crunch potential / *20 ylo me
I prefer the real race / I said the real race / perfection
"Usually when people ask how I'm doing, the real answer is I'm doing shitty, but I can't say I'm doing shitty because I don't even have a good reason to be doing shitty. So if I say. "I'm doing shitty." then they say, "Why? What's wrong?" And I have to be like, "I don't know, all of it?" So instead, when people ask me how I'm doing, I usually say, "I am doing so great." / S ame
Life: this milk is tasty, I'm gonna sleep now life is good / Why do I even exist?
That feeling when you can't decide whether to pay your bills, or treat yourself to a new LEGO set: This little maneuver is gonna cost us $1,129.99!
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