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"Age is just a number" / People who just turned 30 yesterday:
Never gonna give you up / Never gonna let you down / Never gonna run around and desert you / Never gonna make you cry / Never gonna say goodbye / Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Most of the party when exploring a new area: / The barbarian:
The friendship / Me if I don't text or talk first
Let's go play in traffic / Yay
If you took all your DNA, straightened it out, and put it end-to-end, it would stretch to Jupiter and back 10x over. / You are neither small nor insignificant. / You're just very well folded.
At clothing store / Me: I think I look good in this outfit / Store mannequin:
I left my front door open and my roomba just went out and I can't find it. What are the consequences of this. It has no natural predators. / Blend in with the humans
Me: I don't need to write it down, I'll remember / "Enter password" / Me:
I meet someone / We talk / I detail the eternity of torment I have planned for their weak, pitiful flesh / They solve my puzzle box, banishing me to hell again
Me:/Hello darkness my old friend/2 days later.../Lol sorry/Just saw this
Gamblers trolly problem / Fun fact! 99% of gamblers quit right before they're about to win big! / This box has a 50% chance to contain 5 people, and a 50% chance to contain nothing. / This box has a 99% chance to contain a person, 1% chance to be empty
First Pokémon to be defeated must have been like:
The pyramid of intellect / High school diploma / Associate's degree / Bachelor's degree / Master's degree / Ph.D. / During the night I open the window and let the mosquitoes in and then go sleep outside myself. It's called confusing the enemy
POV: A toddler offers to share their snack with you.
When your armor sucks but your character is a low level and you have to take what you can get
Pick your poison / Would you rather have a never ending book that constantly adds to itself or a never ending show / movie that adds to itself
My crippling anxiety / Working super efficiently / Being stressed constantly
When your mom tells you to clean up something that isn't dirty / ...Sorry for spilling air on the floor / I'll clean it as soon as possible 😐
When I see someone who owns the same car I do but I own it better than them
Me: *wants to poop real bad* / Me: *rushes to the bathroom* / My butthole: / Well now I am not doing it
Types of sleeping positions / Investor / Quant / Pro trader / No stop loss
Me: *tries to sneak around my house* / Every single joint below my knees
Top 3 mythical creatures / Unicorns / Aliens / Normal teammates