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When you finally get home from work / after a long day and get to put your / feet up
Perks of living with a dog / Personal space / Quiet time / Clean floor / Uninterrupted meals
Everyone asks "Where's the Loch Ness Monster?" But no one asks, "How's the Loch Ness Monster?"
What it feels like when you lie down after a night of drinking in your 30s
When you text them / And they call back
Me: So yeah its gonna cost me a lot. / My friend: Dude, I know a guy who can do it half price. / The guy:
Six year old me when I am bleeding so I drink my blood to reuse it again. / Recercling
Me callously calculating my behaviour in order to convince you I have emotions / Should add up to normal humanity
Some guy on YouTube: “You can easily build your own furniture for less than 50 bucks.” / His garage:
Me: *turns around "Where’s my sandwich?" / Dog: / Gone, reduced to atoms
When you've just received your monthly wage and see the first debit leave your bank account / So it begins
When your ADHD finally senses the deadline approaching / so it unlocks the hyper-focus mode in your brain / for the next 8 hours
When you finish giving an absolutely terrible presentation but everyone still claps just to appreciate your hard work
When I'm pushing through a high executive function task with a low dopamine return / I'm buying myself something after this shit
Trying to hand write a { / starter pack
Do you have a problem? / Yes / No / Can you do something about it? / Yes / No / Then don't worry.
The four horsemen of stupid shit we did with pencils in school
Ever see birds flying in a 'V' formation and notice that one side is longer than the other? / That is because there are more birds on that side.
