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How it feels when you're 8 hours into what should have been a 30 minute job so you just sit there questioning the meaning of life
Having trouble opening a soda bottle? hold it upside-down whilst you open it. this will force all the gases away from the neck of the bottle and make it much easier to open
Going off to work each morning like / For money
I'm fat / Don't worry. I'll help you with a diet plan / 2 months later / Fuck
My brain everywhere else: works normally / My brain in a math test: Error / Could not copy files because no / Ok
Nobody / Construction workers at 6 am: Excited 300mm adjustable wrench noises
Always remain positive / Falls down the stairs: wow i got downstairs so fast
"Don't worry, you will get through this!" /
The situation I'm in
When its your favourite barber on duty and you dont need to tell him anything to give you the perfect haircut
First time transforming vs Transforming later in the show
How 6 year old me thought what the picture would look like if I traced my hand / How it actually turned out
What my sense of humor does
Online: Makes people exhale out of their nose and press an upward arrow
In person: Makes people question my mental health and send me to a counselor
When you feel less and less special to your favorite person and feel more like a burden
When you're stretching in bed and you feel your calf start to tighten
"When my boyfriend's dog drinks water, it gets splashed all around. So, I made a small garden for around the bowl."
Me: *gets dumped* / Friend: don't worry, there are plenty of fish in the sea / Me / The sea / The fish
What are the mario bros views on paradoxes? / Mario says: Whatever luigi says is a lie / Luigi says: Whatever mario says is the truth
Giving life advice that could ruin someone's life / "but hey idk"
