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"Usually when people ask how I'm doing, the real answer is I'm doing shitty, but I can't say I'm doing shitty because I don't even have a good reason to be doing shitty. So if I say. "I'm doing shitty." then they say, "Why? What's wrong?" And I have to be like, "I don't know, all of it?" So instead, when people ask me how I'm doing, I usually say, "I am doing so great." / S ame
Life: this milk is tasty, I'm gonna sleep now life is good / Why do I even exist?
That feeling when you can't decide whether to pay your bills, or treat yourself to a new LEGO set: This little maneuver is gonna cost us $1,129.99!
when you see an old friend and smile at him / then you realise he's actually a stranger / but he's a good person and smiles back at you
Why i haven't made any friends in college? / *Me when the lecture ends*
normal person: if i had superpowers, i'd make the world a better place. me: Wolverine, bring me a cheese pizza,obo
When you're having a conversation with a stranger and desperately trying to come up with things to say before it gets awkward
Things My Cat Will Drink Out Of Starter Pack / no thanks / not happening / oh yeah that's the stuff / Price: $69.95 nope / ohhhh yessss
For some reason Anime opening songs / Anime ending song
When you meet a really nice dude in a video game and they leave before you can send them a friend request: NO. NO, STAY WITH ME!DON'T LEAVE ME!!
My friend: Why would you go to a level 7 area when you are still level 1? Me: everybody knows that the best way to learn is under intense life-threatening situations
*Wakes up in the middle of a good dream* / Me: Man that dream was awesome imma continue it / My brain: Error File not found
Me: if you keep twisting that it's going to break! My kid: *keeps twisting till the toy breaks* / My Kid
When you kill a bug with a napkin but start to smush the napkin together to make sure it's dead: No resurrections this time
189 episodes of Phineas and Ferb / 104 days of summer vacation
my mom stepping in to fix it / me trying to make a mother's day meal and messing up
You're someone's reason to smile. / because you're a joke
When you're big enough to admit that you were wrong because you love someone and don't want to fight / peace is always an option
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