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Pick your poison / Would you rather have a never ending book that constantly adds to itself or a never ending show / movie that adds to itself
My crippling anxiety / Working super efficiently / Being stressed constantly
When your mom tells you to clean up something that isn't dirty / ...Sorry for spilling air on the floor / I'll clean it as soon as possible 😐
When I see someone who owns the same car I do but I own it better than them
Me: *wants to poop real bad* / Me: *rushes to the bathroom* / My butthole: / Well now I am not doing it
Types of sleeping positions / Investor / Quant / Pro trader / No stop loss
Me: *tries to sneak around my house* / Every single joint below my knees
Top 3 mythical creatures / Unicorns / Aliens / Normal teammates
This cat is a chef?! / They dont need a rat telling her what to do!!! / Paws using the rolling pin?! / Paw prints from her working ?! / Bread is being rolled! / His ass IS a chef!
The toilet flusher at 3 AM / Me, not wanting to wake my family up
The password is on the back of the router / The back of the router:
Me thinking I'm gonna wake up at 6am for work / The alarm I accidentally set for 6pm
My future self to my present self giving each other assurances that it's only going to get worse
Now you've pissed me off!
Me / My dog trying to find the right spot to poop / My dog still trying to find the right spot / Me
Me, who cares about my grades but doesn't do anything / Caring about grades and working hard to achieve them / Not caring about grades and not doing anything / What the hell is this?
Pretty sure this is how my Guardian Angel looks at me when I’m making decisions throughout the day. / Seriously?