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Last one down the stairs is a rott- / Me:
Impossible triangle: choose your posion, topic: food / Tasty / Choose two / Healthy / Cheap
I'll work here until I find something better / I don't have time to find or build something else / I have to resign / I can't afford to resign
I wrapped every single LEGO piece for my little brother, merry Christmas
I bring a sort of / I'll do it tomorrow / Vibe to / today / that tomorrow me don't / really like
I am really pleasant to be around unless I'm hungry, tired, sick, hot, cold, or can't find my phone, thirsty, or otherwise slightly uncomfortable.
Cheap toilet paper / My finger
So apparently my small town thinks / "Beach basketball" is a thing.
Alternative responses to "I love you" / Who doesn't / I know / Thanks / A horrible decision, really / Why / Laughs nervously / Laughs hysterically / Yeet / I'm sorry / Finger guns
Sobbing 'i'm an apex predator! i'm an apex predator!' as a seagull waddles closer and closer to me and my sandwich
8 mins after leaving the dentist
Someone: You're so interesting to talk to! Our personalities fit so well together. / Me: Thanks, I made this one specially for you
Friends: Why won't you let us hear your favorite music? What are you afraid of? / Friends while listening to it: / Wow! This is garbage. You actually like this?
When you finally meet in person / but you're both shy.
When you fabricate an entirely new personality for each person you meet so they actually like you / This one's for you / Me in a group / An original thriller from writer/director M. Night Shyamalan / Split
When I accidentally look at someone / But then have to check if they noticed:
Me: What's heavier, a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks? / 1st grader: A pound of bricks, obviously / Me: / In case you haven't noticed, you've fallen right into my trap.
When the war against machines starts / And I have to shoot my airfryer
This really how it feel when you pissed off trynna act normal
This next song is about the complexities of trust and betrayal and it's called 'Why Is My Bowl Still Empty, Janice'
Me / The finger that isn’t cracking / The rest of my hand
Stop giving me your silliest situations / You are my funniest clown
Self-fulfillment needs / Psychological needs / Basic needs / Someone who gets me as a person showering me in hugs and kisses after railing me
So let me get this straight./The person who cleans up after my poop is also the one controlling the red dot?
