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If you are relatively skinny and you have an identical twin who is over weight, you could make a lot of money doing weight loss plan testimonials / Stonks
Me: *wakes up from dream* / Me: wow that was a nice plot / My brain 10 seconds later:
When you're trying to explore but accidentally go the right way / Cutscene starts
When you finally get rid of that one annoying booger and now you're breathing premium air
When you are trying to get dressed to go out but none of your clothes fit anymore / Welp, plans are cancelled, I'm fat
When the rest of your team rushes for kills instead of playing the objective
When someone with no mutual friend tries to add you / Who sent you?
What is worse / Runny nose, ur nostrels are blocked / Soar throat, your throat hurts
Hulk's underwear / The rest of his clothes
The petting your cat starter pack / Cat walks away after a few pets
The game my gf bought for me / Me / My gf / My pc
Boss: The customer doesn't want it done today, they'll be in next week / Me who already started:
Substitute teacher: *enters classroom* / Class clown: / Well, I guess I'm in charge now.
Pretty sure it was more than that. / You made 210 mistakes this year.
Please show your card to everyone. / Now place the card back in the deck, shuffle it and present it to me. / Draws the top card / Is this your card?
Me: *wakes up without anxiety* / Anxiety: / Oh good you're up
Me: Wanna hang out / My friend: Yes / Me and my friend hanging out: / Toad sat and did nothing. / Frog sat with him.
You have night stands? / Isn't all that stuff supposed to go on the other side of the bed?
Me: I'm going to draw something later!/My lack of talent:/That is a nice thought, but.../...no.
Me / The pervasive fear that I am doing something wrong at all times
When you read some incredibly bad code, thinking 'What moron wrote this...', but halfway through it starts to become familiar. / Well, of course I know him. He's me.
Star trek sucks / Get a little closer to him, I'll do the rest
First 15 min in the car / The rest of the ride
Driving 70 on the freeway:/ My foot out of nowhere:/ Ready to experience the worst itch you ever felt?
