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If you can read this / Turn off the lights please I beg of you
Cool opinion my guy / Keep it to yourself next time
The bird that's calling out right in front of me that I can never see
The garlic in your soup waiting for you to confuse it for a piece of potato.
Me: No more negativity!! only cool positive vibes from now on / Me, 2 secs later: Birth is a curse and existence is a prison,
This avocado is 100% organic, high in fiber, and 100% likely to bite you.
Me and my friend examining our PowerPoint presentation
He saw me and then went to sleep. He must be one badass dude. I'd better leave him alone.
When I hear someone mention one of my interests but I'm too shy to join in
Dude. Do u remember me? / Are you questioning my memory or your relevance
This game is shit / Guy whose playtime is 10K hours / Me starting anewgame
When you're typing a long comment, then notice the post is 5 hours old... so you just don't bother because no one will see it.
game bosses when you fight against them / Game bosses when you unlock them as playable character
I need to stop caring / Valid / Caring about not caring is still caring
Every night I'm like "I have exactly 5 hours, 32 minutes and 53 seconds of sleep.. if I fall asleep in 2 minutes"
"If you're good at something, never do it for free." / how to sell depression
"My tv turned in the middle of the night and saw this frozen on my screen" / Il settle for you.
when the teacher separates you and your friend but that doesn't stop you from doing dumb shit and looking over at them across the room
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