Device not paired? WTF. / Who connected to my earbuds? / Ok, disconnect. BLUETOOTH ON AND OFF / They connected to goddamned laptop Low battery / Charging case has 3% of battery left Where is the cable for charging case Where did I put the left earbud?
are you ok? / haha yea im just gonna take a nap
Stairs on a normal day vs stairs after a leg day
We can't pay you but the exposure will be great!' / Me: You have died of exposure.
I find something Cheap to buy online / The shipping is 5 to 10 dollars / I buy it anyway bc the other options aren't any cheaper
This poor fly got on the plane in Houston and will get off in London. His whole life is about to change bruh
AFTER ALL, WHY NOT / WHY SHOULDN'T I TWIRL IT BY THE STEM?
Me, switching between the two several times per hour: Idiots! Wtf is wrong with people?! / It's all just the universe experiencing itself.
When you're falling asleep and remember you forgot to pray
Bro I always gotta stop my car when I see this shit
"Why u not replying" / Me moving things around the house
me looking at the game make me use my singular power up during the tutorial
Me going back to the boss fight with upgraded gear so That I die in 30 seconds rather than 10
Someone said my kitchen looks like a low budget sitcom set
I'll just check Reddit for 2 minutes / *3 hours later* — now I know everything about snail migration and deep sea worms
That's where I sleep every night
Friend: How are you so good at waking up in a morning? / Me at 5am after setting my alarm tone to dark souls boss music
I think my dog is just done with our trip
When you're trying to sleep and someone asks if you're awake
"Birds can't make facial expressions!"
There's two types of people when someone suggests buying shots on a night out...
NYC is filled with people using coffeeshops to get important work done.
7 year old me after mom drove past McDonald's
*in my head* / Fictional characters / Me
finally starting the task you told your boss you started a week ago and the document says "request access"
Me casually waiting for February 15th when all Valentine's candy hits clearance.
That pre-broke stage like you ain't broke yet, but you can see it coming
Me explaining how it's freezing cold and raining and 2 AM and I want to go back inside / My dog who has been sniffing the same spot for 20 minutes
I need to get my life together but I'm kind of waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.
When you tell them that you like to code And they start asking whether you can hack someone's instagram account
When you work from home during the holidays
SLOW DOWN!!! You bloody maniac!
me after successfully guessing my own password
Kids beg you to play hide-and-seek and then hide like this
My daughter has this stuffed animal that you can heat up prior to cuddling with. I always feel like a psychopath doing this
diagnosis OUFOOOYO M S-Wsa RKKORO IN NWSOO holiday gift guide: good gifts for sad people by NH2 Batof HO. bad coping mechanism serotonin shower dinner in acan new sweatpant a will to live instant noodle roomba stucco to stare at heavy blanky a fast car
Me: Does nothing / My grandma: I'm gonna pay you $1200
You are what you eat!
WHEN YOUR TEACHER ALMOST CATCHES YOU CHEATING SO YOU HIT EM WITH THE
