my organs watching me take 800mg of ibuprofen on an empty stomach and chase it with 2 energy drinks
me / You look tired. / coffee that will definitely hurt my tummy Dngtrer / I can fix that.
Old windows search bar: Here's exactly what you wanted, with its location woof / New windows search bar: Files.. what are files.. want me to search the internet? With Bing?
My cat wakes me up every morning. This morning I woke her up
im not former gifted student. i am still gifted. put me in a fourth grade class i'll annihilate them all like i did the first time
My dog just got a haircut and now he looks like he gave up drinking and got his life together
I swear, it's a PNG file. You're lying!!!
BEAR HUGS: HOW THEY WORK Powerful Upper Body Strength Extreme Passion Bear's Chest Hair Cuts Off Airways May Experience Slight Ear Popping Lungs Collapsed Unbreakable HuglockTM Technology No Control of Limbs Pleasantly Warm Ribcage Liquefied Spine Exits Here Emotionally Healed Leg Twitch of Death Physically Dead
me and the boys around a fire in 30 000 BC Europe arguing how many Hyena's are needed to beat a cave bear
Kids in elemetary doing math / Kids in highschool doing math
Me going back to my cave after spending five minutes with my family
Teacher: You can use your calculators for the test / Kid who forgot his calculator
ME KEEPS GETTING KILLED IN GAME / GAME:"YOU CAN TURN DOWN DIFFICULTY IN SETTINGS AT ANY TIME
POV: Me living in moon " / Because someone's boyfriend decided to burn the whole world for her SDomn
After doing absolutely nothing / Me: Go take a rest; you deserve it.
"I'll do it if you do it" the situation me n twin end up in after saying that
Parents: Something of yours was in the way, so I moved it somewhere else. / Okay! Do you know where you moved it? aado you know where you moved it?
Who wants to get a body like Thor.. / By working out every day for years and eating healthily
Me: I have to start eating healthier Me feeling even the slightest amount of stress
my teacher watching me hand in the exam after 2 minutes / his reaction when l aced everything
Before therapy: I hate everyone. / After therapy: I am okay with hating everyone.
50% chance of $100 Million / Instant $1 Million
I can't hear you
>"He has a true heart of gold" >*looks inside* >Muscle and blood
STEAL THEIR LOOK: SCRUB JAY
When your homie is singing the lyrics loud and wrong.
Correct sitting posture 8 Top of the monitor saean at eye level Armrects to Supportelbaws Low bace anve Supporred 3 4 Keybcard eary to reach Seat forward tlt with wrees below hips 2 Elbows at 90° 1 7 5 Seatarongct height Feet firmly onthe floor/ footrest
How i behave in public my online persona
Me: I should sleep it's late I'm gonna hate myself in the morning. / Me to me: You already hate yourself, watch the next episode.
Finally met the new neighbors
I love cars / me too!
When your barber is really good but is also bald / I guide others to a treasure I cannot possess.
Everyone: "Trying to avoid anything with a rainbow so people dont assume they are gay" / Meanwhile PC Gamers
Adobe Photoshop anti-age face cream
Day42:l have infiltrated the enemy's ranks They still don't know I'm a bunny
*Me cleaning my closet / You're alive / *My Nintendo DS still at 40% battery after 6 years / I'm alive
True crime documentaries: Times the detectives solved the case / Times the nosy neighbor handed them everything they needed
Name a character who went through more pain than him.
Hyperfixation anxiety depression procrastination and dissociation combined create captain trainwreck.
