Me cleaning my screen as carefully as humanly possible to avoid scratching / The micro scratches: Dread it...Run from it.... Destiny arrives all the same
Rich People Splurging: "Fuck it, I'm buying a yacht" / Me Splurging: "Fuck it, make it a large meal"
When the snow is falling: Ho Ho Ho, 'tis about time we get a jolly white winter! / When the snow melts: There's dog shit everywhere
How it felt as a kid to visit your dad's workplace / How it feels to go to your own workplace
POV: you're going triple the speed limit but that's not nearly fast enough for the "ultimate driving machine" that's currently 1 inch behind you
This man saved a dog from a house fire, the cat saved itself by jumping out the window
WHEN PEOPLE ASK HOW I KNOW WHAT AN ANIME IS FROM JUST A SINGLE, HORRIBLY CROPPED IMAGE
Favorite example of this? All Time Favorite my moral compass leaving my body when a villain is sexy
Romantic gifts for your girlfriend when first dating vs long term relationship
how it feels being very skilled but not being able to utilise those skills to earn something for your family
This is what the inside of my brain looks like btw
16 YEARS OLDS WHEN YOU ARE 12 / 16 YEARS OLDS WHEN YOU ARE 20
"Money can't buy happiness" / Me with money
IF YOU CAN READ THIS TURN OFF THE LIGHTS PLEASE I BEG OF YOU
COOL OPINION MY GUY ZAMER / KEEP IT TO YOURSELF NEXT TIME
The bird that's calling out right in front of me that I can never see
Don't know who else needs this but here's a photo of my cat teaching the new kitten to walk up the stairs
The garlic in your soup waiting for you to confuse it for a piece of potato.
Me: No more negativity!! only cool positive vibes from now on / Me, 2 secs later: Birth is a curse and existence is a prison,
This avocado is 100% organic, high in fiber, and 100% likely to bite you.
Me and my friend examining our PowerPoint presentation
He saw me and then went to sleep. He must be one badass dude. I'd better leave him alone.
>Legendary weapon >Looks inside >It has lower damage than the weapon you're currently using
When I hear someone mention one of my interests but I'm too shy to join in
Dude. Do u remember me? / Are you questioning my memory or your relevance
This game is shit / Guy whose playtime is 10K hours / Me starting anewgame
When you're typing a long comment, then notice the post is 5 hours old... so you just don't bother because no one will see it.
game bosses when you fight against them / Game bosses when you unlock them as playable character
I need to stop caring / Valid / Caring about not caring is still caring
Every night I'm like "I have exactly 5 hours, 32 minutes and 53 seconds of sleep.. if I fall asleep in 2 minutes"
"If you're good at something, never do it for free." / how to sell depression
"My tv turned in the middle of the night and saw this frozen on my screen" / Il settle for you.
autistic people will hear "remember to make eye contact" and think we're supposed to do this
going to sleep hoping i hang out with you in my dreams
when the teacher separates you and your friend but that doesn't stop you from doing dumb shit and looking over at them across the room
When you send a goofy snap thinking you're cute and they stop replying
