What's your favorite song? / My favorite song is... WHAT IS MY FAV SONG??? UGHI CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING!
big fan of this plushie my dad got me / FRONT TOWARD FRIEND
Mom: You still don't look warm enough. I'll get more winter clothes.
A perfect lawn is silent. A wild garden sings. Home & Garden Tips
One pack of noodles / Two packs of noodles
"you must have been in a rush getting dressed this morning, your socks are mismatched" / me: no I had plenty of time, I just don't care about anything anymore
Everyone asked what I did in the exam but no one asked what the exam did to me
I came home from work and I'm 99% sure I walked in on my cat trying to kill my dog
Are you winning, Dad? No son, pack your suitcase, I lost the house
Winter is so embarrassing as a short woman why do I have to spend 3 months looking like this
When you buy 6yo old a watch and it has a light.. / I want you to take a look at something.
"nobody loves you” / my dog when i get home
Me in math class typing 4+4 into the calculator to make sure math didn't change and it says 6
me: going to pee at 3am / my dog eating used tissues out of the trash
When you have to watch cartoons after a scary movie so you don't have nightmares
Working with custom cakes is my passion; another satisfied customer.
Y'all ever just
Friend: "You're so dramatic" / Me: "No I'm not" / Also me
Babe! ur in the middle of a conversation, time for your / Yes honey
yesi want this weather and yes i want this weather at the same time we exist
New gamne releases: Pc gamers seeinig console gamers playing a new game / Arrer 1 year: Console gamers seeing PC gammers with high Fps and mmods
Mom Can we get a Dragon? / We have a Dragon at Home / The Dragon at Home
What they make you believe you need / What you actually need
Me at work / 1-HRPOO
I'm not even procrastinating anymore I'm straight up not working
I WILL EAT YOUR HAPPINESS / YOU WILL STARVE
how peaceful life is when you decide not to compare your answers with the smart kids after an exam
2026: Is this content Al or Real? / 2100: Is my girlfriend Al or Real? / 2200: Am I Al or Human ?
Me remembering when I would jump from random hights and my knees wouldn't hurt at all / Gods, I was strong then.
he doesn't know i have to get up in a few minutes
ADHD KIDS / What teachers think we do. / What soth
"you're so quiet" / actually you said something I didn't like 10 minutes ago so you lost my personality privileges.
Me: Doctor, I've got a back problem / Doctor: Turn around and show me
"If there was an award for barking at absolutely nothing.." My dog*
YOU ARE HERE / "This doesn't look good."
When you're in a group chat and you slink off to start a private conversation about the group chat
When you wait 3 years to buy a game because you thought the price would go down but now the stores aren't even selling the game
When an old high school schoolmate reaches out to you and you're just wondering which pyramid scheme they want you to join
Me: wow I can't believe these were only 2 dollars, they look like such good quality nobody will ever know they weren't expensive! / Someone: oh wow nice pants / Me (beaming with pride): THEY WERE 2 DOLLARS
of course I know where my birth certificate is / wtf is my email password
