Grain of Rice / THE AMOUNTOF PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME / World's smallest computer / Women's Pockets / My pp
game developers / me who pirated their games / a good review
You have to poop: Panik / Nah not really doe: Kalm / Psych motherfucker it's go time: Panik
If minecraft was a pay to win phone app / Uh oh your Diamond pickaxe just broke.. watch a short ad to repair it
1000s of buffs and consumables t refuse to use incase I need. them later
Me: *opens a pack of gum* / My friends: Bonjour / howdy / konichiwa /Guten Tag
Penguins have knees / (confused unga bunga) R
4 year old me when it stops raining 15 min after I sing rain rain go away / that's right peasants
Fruit cup in light syrup starter pack: Looks like this / Spills fucking everywhere when you open it because it's too full / You forgot a spork at the lunch line so you just drink it / Now your hands are sticky
My future / My Reddit mode / My humour: Dark
How i feel after saying "maybe" to plans i'm 100% not attending
Instead of working 8 hours a day why not work 2,920 hours in one day and chill the rest of the year
*casually pees on an anthill* / What the ant sees
When everyone thinks you're a chill guy But you're really a stressed guy who pees his pants
Me: *pees the last drop and puts pants back on* / My pp: There is another
That feeling when you're the reason the team lost, but you're lowkey just a chill guy who sleeps soundly
Me thinking im in the bathroom alone: *shits as loud as possible* / Teacher in the stall next to me
Mobile games back then: I made this game to entertain people and I think many people will like it / Mobile games now: oMG bEt YOu CanT Beat LevEL 15
*leaf with a high crunch potential / *20 ylo me
I prefer the real race / I said the real race / perfection
"Usually when people ask how I'm doing, the real answer is I'm doing shitty, but I can't say I'm doing shitty because I don't even have a good reason to be doing shitty. So if I say. "I'm doing shitty." then they say, "Why? What's wrong?" And I have to be like, "I don't know, all of it?" So instead, when people ask me how I'm doing, I usually say, "I am doing so great." / S ame
Life: this milk is tasty, I'm gonna sleep now life is good / Why do I even exist?
That feeling when you can't decide whether to pay your bills, or treat yourself to a new LEGO set: This little maneuver is gonna cost us $1,129.99!
when you see an old friend and smile at him / then you realise he's actually a stranger / but he's a good person and smiles back at you
Why i haven't made any friends in college? / *Me when the lecture ends*
normal person: if i had superpowers, i'd make the world a better place. me: Wolverine, bring me a cheese pizza,obo
When you're having a conversation with a stranger and desperately trying to come up with things to say before it gets awkward
Things My Cat Will Drink Out Of Starter Pack / no thanks / not happening / oh yeah that's the stuff / Price: $69.95 nope / ohhhh yessss
For some reason Anime opening songs / Anime ending song
When you meet a really nice dude in a video game and they leave before you can send them a friend request: NO. NO, STAY WITH ME!DON'T LEAVE ME!!
My friend: Why would you go to a level 7 area when you are still level 1? Me: everybody knows that the best way to learn is under intense life-threatening situations
There is two types of people while eating French Fries / Me, who eats French Fries with no Ketchup: There's three, actually. / Me: who eats them with mayo There is another
Me: Yo how long is this download gonna take? / Steam
Me trying to sleep with one of my legs out of my blanket
*Wakes up in the middle of a good dream* / Me: Man that dream was awesome imma continue it / My brain: Error File not found
Me: if you keep twisting that it's going to break! My kid: *keeps twisting till the toy breaks* / My Kid
When you kill a bug with a napkin but start to smush the napkin together to make sure it's dead: No resurrections this time
189 episodes of Phineas and Ferb / 104 days of summer vacation
my mom stepping in to fix it / me trying to make a mother's day meal and messing up
