If you offered me food and I said no, please ask again. I was just shy the first time.
I found the missing piece of me
Fireworks / me trying to explain to the cat that everything's ok and how it's only thunder and lightning / my cat who now lives under the bookcase
The quiet kid / Me about to go in front of class and do all the talking / The project he did all by himself
"Hey mom, can we have My Melody And Kuromi?" / "We have My Melody And Kuromi at home." / My Melody And Kuromi at home
My daughter says you're in the tech industry / Yes, I help YouTube detect ad blockers / You have exactly 10 seconds to get out of my house
Me / Desires / Expectations / Delusions
what doesnt kill u makes u weird at intimacy
sad because I'm unproductive / unproductive because I'm sad
THE VIEW FOR 10 SEC / THE VIEW FOR 3 HOURS
GETTING KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS IN MOVIES STARTER PACK / out cold instantly for hours / no lasting effects
Cashier at taco shop: "I hope all this food isnt just for you." / Me: It's for my family.
My Summer Bod: sorry I let you down again / My Winter Bod: This is my moment!
Walking into a bathroom like this and not knowing whether to pee or open the chamber of secrets.
ALPHABET SOUP FOR CHILDREN / ALPHABET SOUP FOR DOCTORS
Me: *hears anyone yelling for any reason* / My traumatized brain: is for me?
Anime girl crying / Anime girl in OP crying
Remember crying anime girl? This is her now. Feel old yet?
sometimes when i speak to people i can feel this pop up. can't explain it
Me: doesn't understand a concept / Professor that studied the subject for 38 years
UBISOFT DEV TEAM / UBISOFT TRAILER TEAM
time for another week / i am not prepared but i will do it
4K gaming / 1080p monitor / New PC
They don't know it's all slowly collapsing / bro, we know. but we can't change it either / everyone knows dude, you're not a genius
when i found out smth crazy at 2am but my friend goes to sleep at 11pm
Finally got the food pyramid figured out
Me pretending im a violinist to feel cool while brushing my teeth
Reasons I skip cardio: I hate it / I hate it, but in orange
People: I won't ever leave you. / People as soon as I open up to them
SPILT MY FUCKING APPLE CIDERI SPILT MY FUCKING APPLE CIDER
When u wake up next to bae while they sleep and realize how lucky u are
reminder: salt is bad for you / fat is bad for you / sugar is bad for you / carbs are bad for you / meat is bad for you / dairy is bad for you / bread is bad for you / eggs are bad for you / enjoy ur meal / theres sugar in grass
Me: *leaves my chair for one sec* / My cat: Is for me?
"C is for cookie, and cookie is for me, C is for cookie, and cookie is for me." Cookie Monster
Me: I am having such a good day / Anxiety
Last day of school before summer break* / Teacher: "Doing anything cool this summer?" / Me: "Haha yeah, tons of cool stuff. You?" / Teacher: "Yeah I'm doing loads of cool stuff too." / One week later at anime con
Pranks now: Why are you so mad it was just a prank bro / You set my backyard on fire / Pranks then: I set your watch 10 minutes early so it looked like you were running late / Lol you got me
